PEOPLE AND COMMUNITY.

Gillian Wilkins. 

1. You are a mother to two children and have created and sustain a business that supports early mothering and times of transition through nuturing food. What experiences and circumstances led you to where you are today?

Yes, perhaps a mix of experiences but I guess one of the most impactful experiences was that during my second pregnancy, I suffered from hyperemesis the entire time from 5 weeks right up until I gave birth. It was a very depleting and isolating experience and during that time I researched postpartum foods and ingredients that would help me recover. I had no idea how I would feel after birth, but I knew I needed to heal and bounce back as well as I could. In the end, my friends gifted me with a postpartum doula, which is how I met Emma, and I had a rotation of healing meals, snacks and tonics for more than 3 weeks. Luckily I had an easy (and fast birth) so physical recovery was less of an issue, but my postpartum menu was focused around replenishing the vitality and life force which was lost during pregnancy and I bounced back pretty quickly. As harsh of an experience as that was, I feel that it connected me to the bigger scope of maternal health that is neglected. Nobody really knows how to treat a woman with hyperemesis as from what I gather, it´s a completely unique experience to every woman who goes through it and unless you’ve experienced it, its impossible to relate to the intensity of it. Friends really feel lost as to how to support you and in my case, I could barely interact with my son and my husband was thrown into being a single parent pretty much overnight, so it was really hard for all of us. Having some sort of postpartum care was really important to us as a family, even if the food was focused around my health.

To be honest, until I became a mother, I underestimated the actual scope of a mother´s work in the world and with that, I have reflected on my own mother´s journey in which someone who so selflessly functioned, that she perhaps neglected her own needs a lot of the time. She was a new mother, in a new country, with no family support and a limited community around her. She also had hyperemesis but in the 80´s there was even less recognition and awareness for it. I often think of how isolating her experience was and I hold her journey with so much more reverence and empathy now.

To thrive, mothers really need so much support and a like minded community around them. Mothers need to be well resourced, rested, nurtured and nourished on all levels and postpartum in particular is a time for great healing and expansion. If you are unable to honour this time, the neglect manifests in other ways, usually later down the track, and we should be mindful of this impact on a woman´s health.

Becoming a mother myself has opened myself to this awareness and without the support of my own family and friends, I could not have landed on my feet.

2. How has the felt experience of motherhood been for you? How has it changed you?

Now that I am 5 years in, I feel that I can better answer this type of question. In general, motherhood has been a layering of highs, lows and lots of inner work, but all really positive. Some days it can feel very demanding, tender and raw, other days very heart full, creative and expansive. It’s an all encompassing experience and I am so grateful for it all and I genuinely see all the challenges as big moments of growth. While both kids are giving me different motherhood experiences, I think the biggest theme for me has been surrendering.

A lot changed for me at the turn of becoming a mother for the first time. I no longer had the successful career I had worked so hard for and I had less time for myself, so I really experienced a shift in identity and way of being in the world. The old self had a number of anchors that made me feel more stable, secure and visible whereas this new chapter in my life was a lot more about the invisible with less anchors and a lot more about leaning into the unknown. With my second, aside from the hyperemesis during pregnancy and surrendering to it as a way to survive, she was also a terrible sleeper who woke every 2 hours for 14 months straight and surrendering to and living with sleep deprivation was probably the hardest part of motherhood so far as it affected me physically and emotionally for a long period of time. I felt that I was unable to enjoy motherhood as much as I did the first time but throughout this strenuous period, my daughter has actually been my biggest teacher so far.

To this day, surrendering to the ups and downs of parenting is also learning to get out of the way and giving it space to exist, even though it’s uncomfortable. It has been the biggest gift as a mindset for parenting and life.

3. What care practices and approaches do you use to support you as a mother, person and as a business owner?

Learning how to manage my own energy is the biggest thing I can do for myself as a mother/partner and business owner. I would like to create more space for it, but for now I am making the most of the micro moments that I have.

Learning how to use my time in a way that is more fluid and mindful and this means, preparing and stocking the family fridge with good food and snacks rather than having to make from scratch every time which means we can all feel nourished and eat as healthy as possible. Also treating time with more fluidity helps me approach work, life and creativity with a more ease and more balance.

Finding time for yoga, jumping in the sea or going for a hike are ways I like to release and replenishing stagnant energy.

Acupunture, a sauna or a massage are my go to´s for re-balancing my mood and wellbeing and sneaking in some rest.

My husband and I have very free work schedules so we are both always with our kids. Regularly checking in with each other, while also giving each other child free moments during the week is a priority as it allows us to reconnect with our selves.

I am very grateful for the women I hold close and finding time to be with them 1:1 is a very enriching exchange. I also have a very close circle of girl friends back in Australia and so it´s important for me to bridge the distance with them as much as I can.

All these things replenish me physically, emotionally and spiritually.

4. What does wellbeing mean to you?

For me, wellbeing is feeling loved, nourished, energised, clear and harmonious in my body, mind and soul. Being able to tap into this energy on a regular basis is medicine.

5. Where do you find joy/ fulfillment/ comfort?

In no particular order….

In the sea, always

The fresh mountain air or smell of rain after a storm.

Ive become quite a home body and a day at home is always a day well spent with music in the background, getting a chance to read a good book and lots of nourishing food.

Spending time in Australia and the Philippines with family and old friends.

Having an afternoon nap with my kids.

Getting time to paint, take photos and then cut and paste.

6. What are your passions interests and inspirations?

I am a very tactile, intuitive and imaginative person and I currently express this creativity a lot through cooking and making collages, which I had on show last summer at Earth Core Gallery. Actually a lot of of my motherhood journey was reflected in these collages.

Mamayaya has lead me back to what it means to nourish and replenish yourself properly with food and I´ve become passionate about this as well as learning how to intuitively engage with ingredients and fresh seasonal produce. It has been my link back to a more cyclical way of life. Right now, I am working on a cook book with my mother which is fun and also cathartic. I feel like it´s a way to honour her life journey so far and I can sense that she is experiencing something profound from the process already. She is Filipino and it’s been beautiful to reflect on her time honoured cooking and recipes and get to know her life story in a new way.

I am also very passionate about being more active in the collective human experience. Our decisions on a daily basis are important from how they affect the climate and how our vote impacts what governments and policies are directing our lives and valuing the existence of others. I do wish we lived in a more compassionate world where nature and human life is regarded with more reverence. There is so much suffering and collectively we all have the power and the resources to turn this around. I really want to be more active in raising awareness and be able to give back through my work and business.

7. Do you have any philosophies that guide you in your decision making and actions?

There are two quotes I recently stumbled across which I resonated with quite deeply….

“What are you going to do with your own wild and precious life?” By Mary Oliver which asks me to get clear on what my purpose / intentions are and to live a life with purpose.

And one by Rick Rubin (he has so many that I resonate with), “All that matters is that you are making something you love, to the best of your ability”, a humble reminder to ditch perfection and that your life is your expression and simply doing what you love and leaning into what you feel in your heart is all you need to do. It goes against the general perception of success and productivity and inspires you to meet yourself and others exactly where you/they are at and hold space for that.

Find Gillians Mamayaya online here.

29.Aug.2024.