MOTHERHOOD

Preparation, Challenge and Dualism.

Motherhood is a defining presence in all of our lives, whether or not we are physical child bearers. For many we enter and traverse motherhood and our reproductive lives feeling ill prepared for it’s realities that often sit starkly against it’s idealisms. From challenges in conception, 1 in 6 couples experience fertility difficulties, pregnancy, one in four pregnancies experience loss (Tommy’s 2023), births actualised not as hoped for, through to afterbirth where intimate parts of our body can shift in form or function. During this time one in three women are likely to experience urinary incontinence (a loss of control of peeing) and up to half may experience a change in position of their internal organs known medically as a pelvic organ prolapse (Salter, 2018). Examples of but a few of the mulitude of experiences that maybe encountered in the trajectory of motherhood and repdroduction that lie juxtaposed against it’s joys. Whilst no one experience arising throughout it should be reduced to statistics, through them felt experiences cannot be conveyed, statistics do offer the opportunity to develop a greater sensitivity and awareness and therefore coherence towards the inherent uncertainties of reproduction. Motherhood and the greater sphere of reproduction are multi finite processes with many ends, many beginnings and many nuances in between (Athan 2020). It maybe almost an inevitability that in some instance through our delve into motherhood/ parenthood we will face singular or multiple times of unforeseen confrontation, personally and/or alongside our children*. Simultaneously we also experience moments abundant in exuberance, delight, and overwhelming love. Often our most acute and intimate provocations of motherhood and reproduction are carried silently and therefore solely. Difficulties in expression explicit within the dualities of caregiving. Whilst each experience of motherhood/ mothering/ parenthood is unique, it is not solitary. We find union in our shared experiences. In all their grey, their nuance. And perhaps we find preparation- the ability to embrace uncertainty and resolve here too.

*Our health as mothers/ parents/ carers is not separate from that of our children, there are many experiences encountered through the course of pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood that may land upon on any part of our wellbeing. Issues arising after birth that surround feeding, childhood distress and illness amongst many others can be and/ are provoking for their care givers and these experiences too deserve validation.

References

Athan, A. M, 2020, ‘Reproductive identity: An emerging concept’,American Psychologist, 75(4), 445–456. https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000623. Cited online April 2023 https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2020-29966-003.html

Salter Fiona, Physical and Mental Health in the Postnatal Period, February 2018. https://maternalmentalhealthalliance.org/mabim/physical-and-mental-health-in-the-postnatal-period/. Accessed online Sept 22

Tommy’s, The UK’s largest pregnancy and baby loss charity, https://www.tommys.org. Accessed online 21 Sept 2023.

HELEN COUTTS